Just Being…

This past weekend marked a beautiful start to the summer of 2014.  A group of us traveled up to Holland, MI, rented a house, attended some weddings, and just spent time together.

It was relaxing, rejuvenating and chill.  Dare I say it was poetic.  Not in the sense that we did anything amazing or crazy or even epic-but in the sense that we just were and it was good.  We cooked and cleaned and ate and laughed.  It was ok that our days started late and had no agenda, it was ok that we ate donuts AND omelets for breakfast and that lunch took 2 hours to prepare.  We splashed like kids in the frigid lake Michigan water and danced to Shakira in a tiny kitchen as we washed dishes and shucked corn.

On the way back we stopped to trespass on some private property and watch the sunset over lake Michigan.  It was breathtaking and spontaneous.  I sat on that ledge with those people I love and realized how blessed I am to be here in this moment with these friends.  Sometimes I get caught up in thinking that I’m not where I wanted to end up when I was 27.  I worry that I’ve settled in the midwest and am stuck here forever.  I wonder if I’ve changed into someone I didn’t really want to be when I was young and free and adventurous.  But in moments like that as I am staring at something so entrancing-my heart and mind resting calmly in the wake of a weekend filled with community and laughter I know I am blessed.  In those moments I surrender to contentment and thankfulness and I just am and it is good.

 

The Friendiversary

As I reflect  on celebrating my second Friendiversary with Amy Solava this month.  I can’t help but think that we do not celebrate friendship enough these days.  Building deep, meaningful, encouraging, reciprocal friendships is a difficult feat in today’s image driven, social media saturated culture.  It’s a hard thing to see into the hearts of people, to build friendships that last through difficulties and create joys.

That’s why I love the Friendiversary-a seemingly silly holiday created by individuals that want an excuse to celebrate something.  The first time I celebrated a Friendiversary (with Amy last year) I admit it was in part because I wanted a cake.  But after a year of celebrating Friendiversaries with various individuals I have realized it’s not silly it is a special, wonderful, worked for occasion that deserves celebration.

Friendship is hard, genuine deep friendship is scary, and lengthy, genuine, deep friendship is something to cling to and something to celebrate.

This year I am so thankful for being able to celebrate almost a decade with my college friends…

4 years with this guy…

going on two years with these ladies…

and a solid 1 year with this fellow…

looking forward to many more with them and celebrating a 1 year with many of these folks later this year.

It’s wonderful to be blessed by amazing community.  Here’s to friends!

To Trinity

Tomorrow I will attend the 9th Trinity Graduation I have attended in the last 10 years and I have a feeling this will be the last one I attend for awhile.  I’m already feeling emotional as I see pictures posted of the class of 2014 on many social media outlets.  This was the first class I planned visits for and the last class I have very many close ties to.

This week also marks 5 years since I sat on the stage of the Ozinga chapel closing out my precious time at Trinity (well as a student anyway).

And next Monday I am getting breakfast with 3 of my very best friends from my time at Trinity.  Since graduation we have celebrated weddings and babies-and this time around we are meeting a new boyfriend.

I love this about Trinity-I love being able to look graduating students in the eyes and tell them this time is crazy, oh I know it is-but it’s exciting-you are ready-this place, this community has prepared you and will follow you.  These bonds will last through jobs, moves, graduate school, joys, and struggles.  You may not be able to walk down the hall in Alumni at 2am to cry in someones lap-but they will answer their phone when you call 5 times in a row because you are having a quarter life crisis.  You may not be able meet in west hall lobby at 4:55 every night for your walk to the caf-but when you have a reunion dinners you will laugh and be ridiculous and feel like you never parted.  Yes you will mourn over changing friendships and shifting dreams-but they will always be the ones who where there when you were so drastically shaped, when you figured out a part of who you were on that tiny little campus in the southwest suburbs of Chicago.

 

Thoughts on Fathers

The concept of Dads is hard for me to grasp.  I never realized this until recently when dad’s have come up as a topic of multiple conversations.  To be honest-dad’s freak me out.   They seem authoritative, awkward, and aloof.  I have recenlty caught myself thinking-I’m kind of glad I don’t have a dad which sounds horrible and heartbreaking.  But it seems so much easier to be who I am without a father telling me what I should be. I can choose to think that my dad would be proud of who I am and what I do, that he would be fine that I chose a career that makes little money, but helps people-but that dad is a dad I created a dad I can please-a figment of my imagination created through a few memories of an 8 year old girl and stories that my family tells.

In reality I can’t really place what my dad was like-was he outgoing or quite, gentle or stern, authoritative or empowering.  I don’t know.  All I remember is he was loving and he was sick.

Over the years I have shaped an ideal picture of who he was. Contrary to many kids not embracing the picture of God as their father because of their earthly father’s flaws I have embraced the Lord as my father and remember my earthly father as a man after his own heart-which I believe he was.

At times it saddens me that I do not truely remember him, that I do not truly mourn the man I lost, but rather the idea of having a father.  But I am thankful for the way I know he loved my mom, for the stories he left with others to paint little picures of who he was for me, and for the opportunity to understand a paternal relationship with the Lord without an earthly father diminishing that picture.  These are blessings in disguise-the gifts in the midst of loss.

 

The Joy of Hammocking

I LOVE hammocking.  It is probably one of my favorite summertime activities.  Which is funny to me because I am not one who loves to relax-I generally like to be on the go and active, but there is something about the gentle sway of a hammock, the rustling of a breeze in the leaves above, the feel of the light fabric wrapped around my body that is simply too enjoyable to resist, too soothing not to embrace.  It’s a little solace in the midst of the hustle and bustle of my everyday life.  Whether I’m reading a book to myself or to a friend, chatting with others in a communial hammocking session, or simply napping it’s rejuvinating, invigorating, and simply fun!   It’s my favorite.  Here’s to a summer full of hammocking, heart felt chats, and good books!